Happy Mother’s Day, Mamas!

I am delighted that my interview with De West, a longtime friend, inspiring mother, yoga teacher extraordinaire, and postpartum whisperer gets to be published today. Her daughter and my son are close in age and I have learned so much from the attention and mindfulness with which she mothers.

What soul work has mothering entailed for you?

Motherhood has brought me patience and presence. Trying to be present with what’s happening when its happening: Skinning a knee, falling out a window, preschool graduation, disagreements. The soul call for me has been about boundaries. I grew up with a lot of boundaries, so my goal is how not to be boundary-less in response. I keep searching for that balance. Sometimes my daughter’s fire personality and strong will gets me a little spun out. Learning how to communicate in a way that brings clear but loving boundaries is a huge part of my soul work.

What do you see as the greatest gifts of motherhood?

I love seeing how children become their own individuals.When they are newborns they are so dependent, but there is always the sense of their own presence. I love the continuous exploration of getting to know who they are. I enjoy seeing their divinity, their play. And that’s what I return to when I am flipping out—the simple wonder of her presence in my life. I have so much gratitude for being a mother. I’m thankful that I have a divine being who triggers me, and makes me grow, in ways I never would have explored otherwise.

On the path of motherhood, how does the quality of Wonder speak to you?

I’m the kind of person who likes to know what’s happening next, and so is my daughter. We are planners. For me, the wonder has been the not knowing. I can get stuck in the safety of knowing. But for six years now, I have been on the path of wonderment. My pregnancy and her birth were just the prelude to the ongoing journey into the heart of wonder. Anahata’s big gift to me is learning to see with wonder eyes, because everything is so new for her.

How do you keep the inner flame alive in your day-to-day home life?

It’s being present and it’s friggin hard. I have to let go of my agenda, my to-do list, all my attachments. I ask myself all the time how can I be in her wonderworld with her, but still establish boundaries. It’s tricky and some days are better than others. Some days I feel the flame gets dimmed. If I can let go of what I need to let go of, presence starts to shine again.

What word encapsulates your experience of motherhood today?

Presence.

MOTHER’S DAY GIVEAWAY

Celebrate Mother’s Day with us! Help us honor the path of motherhood by entering our Mother’s Day GIVEAWAY. Our hope is that every mother feels seen, loved, and supported. Help us spread the love to your friends, mothers, and sisters. From now until May 12th, LIKE and SHARE our facebook page and be entered to win!

1st PRIZE: 2 prints from The Mother’s Wisdom Deck.
2nd PRIZE: 2 copies of The Mother’s Wisdom Deck.
3rd PRIZE: 10 postcards from The Mother’s Wisdom Deck.

To enter, please leave a comment here on that you have LIKED and SHARED Mothering with Soul on facebook.

If you have been touched by The Mother’s Wisdom Deck in anyway, pass it on & pay it forward!

The winners of our Mother’s Day GIVEAWAY are:

1st PRIZE: 2 prints from The Mother’s Wisdom Deck CASSIE SNIDER HEWITT
2nd PRIZE: 2 copies of The Mother’s Wisdom Deck ORISHA ORLANDO
3rd PRIZE: 10 postcards from The Mother’s Wisdom Deck BROOKE WILLIAMSON

Deep thanks to everyone who participated.

Deepening the conversation about soulful motherhood and the practice of surrender, it is our honor and pleasure to welcome our soul sister Brandy Lewis. Brandy a birth doula, photographer, visionary, and artist with an insatiable passion to create and nurture. She is the owner of Serenity Mama Earth and creator of Gems of the Soil, a line of handmade home and lifestyle goods. She is the mother of two vibrant children, Dorian 5 and Soleil 3, both born gently at home. She currently resides in Stonington, CT with her husband, children, and bountiful hens. Brandy has a deep compassion for others, and is passionate about helping women walk in freedom and abundance. She rocks.

What soul work has mothering entailed for you?

Brandy: Mothering has been, and will continue to be, one of the greatest challenges of my life. When I read over this first question, I thought, “Gosh, what soul work has mothering not entailed for me!” Mothering has called me to the dark recesses of my heart, and required me to mend the many fractures, one by one. Like holding my breath and swimming below to grab up the ring at the bottom of the pool, mothering has required me to dive deep and to constantly remind myself of the ultimate goal. The soul work I feel I’ve benefitted from the most has been journaling, reflection, and seeking wisdom from women who I admire and respect.

What do you see as the greatest gifts of motherhood? Challenges?

Brandy: I am honored that my children chose me to pass through and enter into this world, and I am blown away by the lessons they teach me each and every day. I believe that the greatest gift of motherhood is the opportunity to sow healthy and strong seeds for my children and for my children’s children. The sacred gifts of motherhood are the unconditional love that my children have for me and the adoration with which they look to me. Laughter, giggling, snuggling, swinging, running, playing, and dancing are all great gifts that mothers are so blessed to enjoy. For me, the greatest challenge of motherhood is figuring out how to be the mother that I did not have and being careful not to be the mother I did have. It’s an incredibly difficult endeavor, to break the cycles from generations past.

On the path of motherhood, how does the quality of ‘Surrender’ speak to you?

Brandy: As a woman and mother who is completely determined to make a beautiful and rich life for myself and my family, the act of surrendering often means recognizing that I am not my mother and I am not mothers’ choices. Surrender says to me, look at the chain you have broken and look at the good work you’ve done. I tend to be so very hard on myself, praising my children and not giving myself enough credit for all that I’ve conquered and am conquering. Surrender is about letting go of perfection and control. It is about allowing myself to be present in the here and now. It is about enjoying my existence and enjoying my children’s existence in my arms and sometimes crawling up my back. Surrender is about finding the strength to be weak. It’s about allowing myself the freedom to be spontaneous and to go with the flow. Surrender for me is really about reaping the harvest and celebrating the bounty. Surrender is about rest. It is about trust. It is about hope.

How do you keep the inner flame alive?

Brandy: Keeping the inner flame alive, means taking time to do the things that I was created to do, the things that pour uncontrollably from my being, like painting, singing, and gardening, these are the things that bring me to a state of elation and complete joy.

What word encapsulates your experience of motherhood today?

Brandy: Faith. Motherhood isn’t about getting it right, it’s about being authentic, creative, free, and having loads of faith. In the words of Ann Voskamp, “Motherhood is a hallowed place because children are not commonplace. Co-laboring over the sculpting of souls is a sacred vocation, a humbling privilege.” This quote is one of my mantras.

I will leave you with a song that has been dear to my heart for many years, it’s very touching to me now, as we are coming out of winter. I hope you enjoy.

EVERY SEASON by Nicole Nordeman

Every evening sky
An invitation
To trace the pattern stars
And early in July
A celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice you
In childrens games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer

And even when the trees
Have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves
In mid-September
And sending us inside
Still I notice you when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and what’s to come
You are autumn

And every thing in time
And under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white
All creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you when branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death you open doors for life to enter
You are winter

And every thing that’s new
Has greatly surfaced
Teaching us to breath
And what was frozen through
Is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with you
And how you make me new
With every seasons change
And so it will be
As you are recreating me
Summer Autumn Winter Spring

Here begins our second year of blogging at Mothering with Soul. We are shaking things up a bit to bring in new voices and different perspectives. Each month we will draw a card that will guide our online conversations about soulful motherhood both here and on facebook. This month, the theme is Surrender.

When we first sat down to identify which attributes spoke most strongly to the experience of motherhood, Surrender topped the list and River was the first card that we wrote. Today, as in every day, I have ample opportunity to practice going with the flow. From giving up precious hours of work due to kids being at home for an unexpected snow day to chatting with a friend about the heartbreak of miscarriage, motherhood teaches that we are not in control; we must fall in love with the art of improvisation and learn to find beauty in the unexpected.

I have read several interviews with Benh Zeitlin, the director of Beasts of the Southern Wild (an absolute a must see!), where he talks about creating a film around water, children and animals—the three chaotic elements that Hollywood ardently avoids. “Water, children and animals are things that fight against the perfect thing that you imagine,” Zeitlin explains. “They blow up your plans and the water moves in the opposite direction you’re going and the child runs in the opposite direction.” Yet, is it not the imperfections and process of improvisation that convey the sacred through mystery and magic?

We mamas have the impossible task of trying to “direct” this spontaneous performance moment by moment. We cannot resist it. We cannot control it. We must ride the current and trust ourselves. Like giving birth again and again, we have to find the courage surrender to something greater than ourselves.

This surrender is exhausting if we are trying to take care of everyone and everything in the process. So, my invitation to you is to practice by allowing your self some space to completely let go. When I was at a recent Sacred Pregnancy retreat (another absolute must do!) we did an exercise where we allowed another woman to cradle us, just like we cradle our babes. It was incredible to feel the release of not having to hold it all. The tears flowed and this softening stayed with me for days. Do this for your sisters, and ask a sister (mother, partner) to do this for you! In order to surrender, we need to trust that we will be held.

Fanning the fire midweek, we are tossing you a spontaneous quote, question, or conundrum related to Monday’s post. We invite you to riff on this prompt or share a story—heartbreaking or hilarious—to spark further conversation about the path of motherhood.

Well, this is it. For one year we have drawn a new card each week and blogged about how that card speaks to us, inspires us, and stirs us as mothers, women, sisters, daughters, and humans. In The Mother’s Wisdom Deck of 52 cards, Abundance is the final card, completing this journey around the sun with a flourish. The card call us to harvest the ample blessings that have been birthed through this year of sharing our stories and musings about motherhood.

photo compliments of Erin Dollar Kott

For Niki…

I celebrate the connections the blog has forged. We have sent decks around the globe and my vision of the deck like the moon has been realized. Just as you can feel connected to someone on the other side of the world by imagining she is gazing up at the same moon, I dreamed of the deck being an object of illumination that mother’s can tap for inspiration and the affirmation that they are not alone. I love that the deck and this blog have indeed become a portal where mothers can meet for a good laugh or a good cry.

I am grateful for all the moments with my children that I noticed and was called to reflect upon and write about as a result of your willingness to read my thoughts and share in my journey.

I feel stirred to continue elevating the path of motherhood, seeding new projects in the fertile ground of community and inspiration that this blog has created.

For Elizabeth…

It was so cool to get to know the deck more intimately, to work with it as friend, teacher, compadre. I  learned so much about myself.  I loved never doubting that the right card always came at the right time.

It shifted me from wanting to find the answer outside myself to trusting that answers could arise from the clarity within.

I always had a sense of abundance right before I pulled a card, knowing there was a cavalry of archetypes awaiting, ready to preside over the altar of my heart.

And I loved feeling connected to you our readers, feeling your kindness and encouragement hovering in the atmosphere. I felt your presence as my week unfolded and was delighted when you were moved to comment.

And, for you? We’d love to hear what abundance this blog and The Mother’s Wisdom Deck has brought into your life.

We hope you will come along for our next journey around the sun. We will continue to draw inspiration from the deck and will be weaving this thread with threads of insight from neighboring mamas, wise women, gifted teachers, and anyone else who may contribute to the conversation about mothering with soul. Stay tuned for enlightening interviews, thoughtful reflections, and regular doses of heart and humor. We will be blogging with just as much depth but slightly less frequency. For the daily beat, be sure to like us on facebook.